Song of the Week: Learning to Fly

It's Sunday afternoon.  

I just filed my taxes and feel like a huge weight has been lifted.  

The air is finally warm enough to open the windows and let the light shine in, though I also have my space heater on because my darn feet get so cold.  

I have been slowly sipping coffee from Pyrex for the last four hours and my neighbors are mowing their lawn.  

The smell of gasoline and grass spill in with the breeze.  There is something about this, as opposed to my favorite music blasting, that is so comforting and grounding.  

It's perfect.

I watched Eat Pray Love again last night, because I am a sucker for anything involving personal transformation and travel, I happen like Julia Roberts and James Franco, and let's face it-Javier Bardem is just plain dreamy.  I've seen this movie a few times now and it always touches on my emotions in different ways.  This time it was the fear, apathy and internal struggle that got to me the most, and I didn't cry once until she gets on that boat at the end.  

If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you. 

-Elizabeth Gilbert

Life can be such a tightrope walk sometimes.  Maybe all the time if we're brave enough.  I guess the question is, are we waiting and hoping to get to the other side, do we give up because we don't know what else to do, or do we intentionally dive head first and trust that our wisdom will catch us?  I guess therein lies our song of the week :)

Take your pick:

A soul in tension -- that's learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try. . .

Peace
Love
Cheesy blog posts 

under heaven's skies

I'm sure I've already posted this video, BUT . . .

. . .life seems to be full of unexpected things, people, and experiences lately and this song reminds me of how lucky I am to love the people I love, and be in the presence of such beauty, blooming and bursting from somewhere I can't quite understand yet. 

"To feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life." 
— Pablo Neruda

xoxo
*A 

here's my heart, o' take and seal it

This weekend I experienced a first - the first Christmas tree of my very own, hand picked by a fabulous friend and I!  Luckily, my mom had a box of ornaments that I apparently picked out several years ago and even more luckily, I happened to pick all the cute vintage ones my grandmother has passed down.  When I'm ready for a bigger tree, I'll be adding the years worth of ornaments my grandma has given each of us that correspond with a book she chooses and reads each year.  Definitely a top tradition for me.  I listed to this over and over and over again (and again).  Probably because hymns are the only part of church I ever really liked, and I like this one a lot.  

All that said, here's to my perfectly imperfect first whirl at creating my own Christmas :)

I squealed in delight when I saw these next ones!  And she hand stitched them!  

At a certain point, I may or may not have broken part of the star (shown above) :(  
So I improvised and decided that Love would be my focal point.  
Wow I'm getting cheesy in my old age. . . 

Say what?  You want to see pictures of my cute family decorating our tree?  Fair enough.

Thanks for letting me share some Christmas cheer with you!

on web design, branding, and trusting our instincts

I have a few things on my mind today, peeps.  About creativity.  About being an artist. 

Once again, I am examining my website (and brand) and asking myself what's missing.  I'm not sure I'll ever be 100% content with it, but now I know what's missing: ME!  I think we all tend to compare ourselves to others, and I am no exception.  I easily get caught up in a battle I call, "Am I doing it right?" and it never serves the ultimate goal.  What I know is, that there is enough room in this world and industry for every single one of us, and our full self expression is all that is really required to "do it right".  Remembering this simple concept might be the ultimate practice for me.  

One of my most favorite quotes:

"Being an artist means: not numbering and counting, but ripening like a tree, which doesn’t force its sap, and stands confidently in the storms of spring, not afraid that afterward summer may not come. It does come. But it comes only to those who are patient, who are there as if eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly silent and vast. I learn it every day of my life, learn it with pain I am grateful for: patience is everything!” -Rainer Maria Rilke

I have to remind myself of this so often that it's written on a gigantic chalkboard that sits between my room and kitchen.  Point is, the only thing to do is be you, however that looks.  

-End soap box-

This morning I spent some time watching the live hangout DJ and Andrew from Showit hosted and I came away so inspired.  I also cruised around the various tutorials for a while and watched the genius DYI tutorial by one of my favorite artists, Promise Tangeman.  Promise is one of those people who I think has mastered the art of being herself and infusing that into her brand in such a graceful way.  In the tutorial (and quite often on her blog) she talks about all of the steps she goes through to create a brand and website.  This reminded me that I've been trying to go from point A to point Z overnight.  No wonder I've been frustrated!  So. . .I finished watching the tutorial and then closed the computer, walked away, and pulled out my vintage books and some of the magazines I've been saving for years (issues of HOW from 2005 & 2006)!  I quickly discovered what kind of images and patterns I'm the most drawn to, which (duh) I had never really thought about before.  SO liberating!  24 hours ago I felt so stuck and now there is a flow of inspiration.  

Soon after the ripping and tearing and marking began, I was drawn to take a look back at my very first website.  I created it after going through a big break up and it was the perfect creative outlet, in -get this- November of 2004.  

Visually it's pretty awful, in fact I'm laughing at how nerdy I was about photoshop filters and rollovers, but at the wise age of 21, here is what I had to say for myself:  

Welcome to quietpandemonium. This site has a few different purposes. First, it is about making some noise in the world, using whatever art form is appropriate. We all have things to share and say and I would like to make this a place to do so. If you have something that you want posted, please email it to me at angela@quietpandemonium.com. Secondly, I would like this site to be a place to educate ourselves about what is going on in the world today, and facilitate in being citizens of the world who work to make conditions better for all. On the Issues & Info page you will find links to information about social, political, and environmental issues. Please let me know if there is a link that you think should be added. As I learn more and more about what personal expression means to me, the more I realize how important it is for me to continuously push myself with my art. That said, this site has also served as a new medium for me. A challenge that has indeed pushed me and now that I have something to show for it, here it is. Now, at 27 I am strangely proud of bold idealism I put out there, how unconcerned I was about what anyone thought, and the fact that at that time I had several friends share music, poetry and art of their own to exhibit on the site.  Amazing what can happen before we get in our own way.  Anyone else out there have a similar experience?  I would LOVE to hear it so please share if you feel so inclined :) xoxo